Foundations of a deluded life

** I’ve commented that my re-reading of the "Foundation" trilogy by Isaac Asimov left me underwhelmed (or only just whelmed in spots). I had read the books as a young teenager but I’ve been wondering why it had occupied a special place in my adult psyche. The re-read at this time so much later in life has cleared that up for me.

It’s all about mental power.

The trilogy posits two “Foundations” as the basis of a new world order. The First Foundation was meant to develop physical power, the evolution of “science” if you will. The Second Foundation’s purpose was to develop mental power. As much of a lover of physical science as I always was, the prospect of power that could be exercised without physical components was startling to me as a youngster. If you tend to feel inadequate, as many teens do, the idea of wielding power just by thinking has great appeal. Even so, the idea lay dormant for many years.

In my mid-30s, I came across Christian”Science,” and learned that it purported to use “mental science” (in those very words) to accomplish wondrous feats in the physical world. Of course, the idea of “healing” through mental power was enormously appealing. and the fact that one could develop this power by studying the writings of its founder, Mary Baker Eddy, seemed a way for me to get out of the grip of helplessness and hopelessness that accompanied the emotional disasters of two failed marriages and the impending disaster of a third relationship. Mix in the insecurities and craziness of my advertising career and I was caught in a perfect storm of conversion.

It took only ten years but I rose to some prominence in the “movement” and not only became a “teacher” of this “mental science” but a writer and public speaker on the subject. In 1989, following the needless death of a child under my “care,” began another ten-year period of intense denial and magical thinking. However, my own “foundations” of belief started to crumble, hardly noticeable at first, but increasingly as reality started to impinge on me. With the political shenanigans at the headquarters church where I worked, and my eventual expulsion from their employ and subsequent forced retirement, the dismantling of my life as a Christian Scientist became more visible to me and others. Much of that disintegration is chronicled here and need not be rehashed. The point of this post is to recognize a little-suspected component of the great delusion that wasted a good part of my life.

Sci-fi travels

** I’m almost finished with the third book in the “Foundation” trilogy by Asimov. I was curious to re-read these for several reasons. The first time I read them was when I was about 12-14, so I wanted to know how much I would remember. Precious little, it turns out. In fact, I wonder if I even read the “Second Foundation.”

Another reason was to compare the vision of the future from a 1950s perspective with today’s reality. Not even close. There’s still plenty of “paper,” phones (although some have video). Spaceships come and go via nuclear power and “air taxis” flit freely about cities.

Having read a bit more science fiction in the interim I was interested in comparing past visions of the future with present expectations. Of course, today’s version of the future sounds plausible enough, based as it is on present technology and social organization. But much of what I’ve read places little emphasis on physical technology but tends to deal with psychological and sociological matters. In fact “Anathem,” by Neil Stevenson, takes place in a world of primitive physical technology – a world of secular, low-tech monasteries. I think today’s science fiction is dealing more with ideas than with gee-whiz gadgets.

Along the way, I note that Asimov, though widely respected – almost revered – wasn’t such a good fiction writer, at least by the standards of other writers like Dick, Card and Stevenson. A good story, plausible, interesting characters are much in evidence compared with Asimov’s cardboard cutouts.

Granted, I’m not a voracious sci-fi reader, but I do think I’ve read some of the best. I’m about to start “Speaker for the Dead,” by Orson Scott Card and I’m in the process of reading Sherri Tepper’s “Grass.” The latter, BTW, is almost Victorian in prose style – almost poetic in fact – with little emphasis on technology.

I’ll welcome further suggestions on good sci-fi.

NOTE: I will follow up this post with some discoveries I made about myself in re-reading the Asimov books.